December 19, 2011 - Monopoly

Getting ready to play Monopoly, Israel said, 'Mom and Dad, if you guys go bankrobbed (bankrupt) I will give you guys $100 to stay in the game.'

December 8 2011 - Farmers' Markets

Today in school we were talking a bit about Farmers' Markets.  I asked Israel what sights and sounds were at a farmers' market.  He answered...(ssshhh - weird robot sound) 'I  a m   a  c y b o r g...(back to normal voice) oh wait...that's the future.'

October 28, 2011 - Laziness

In yet another pathetic attempt to not have to brush his teeth because he was 'Soooooo tired,' Israel asked, 'Can I only brush my permanent teeth?'

September 14 2011 - Synonyms

'Israel, what's a synonym for loud?'     ......'um....River!'

September 8 2011 - Pest Control

While Israel was doing school River was meandering about growling, throwing stuff, and pestering Israel.  Israel looked at River and asked...'Should I call the exterminator?!'

September 7 2011 - Ravenous

After River bit me again today, Israel confidently concluded that 'it's because he's already had the taste of blood!' haha

August 26, 2011 - Meatball Dreams

River typically wakes up from naps very pleasant, goofy, and ready to play. Today however, he awoke fussy and only wanting mama. So naturally, Israel asks (and so very sympathetically), "Aw, did you have a nightmare that a monster put your big meatball head on his plate of spaghetti?"

August 16 2011 - Cannibals

"Mom....do you know any cannibals?"  asked Israel contemplatively.

August 14 2011 - Hospital Emergency

"Man, wouldn't it be crazy if ALL of the hospitals shut down?  There would be people honkin' and horkin' and babies flying outta people!"

August 11 2011 - Swinter

"I wish we could have a swinter!"   (summer and winter combined).  I asked Israel what that would look like to him.  His reply..."You could wear swimming trunks and throw snow balls."

August 8 2011 - Tank Tops

"I kinda like that guys tank top except the nipple hangin' out.  It kinda draws attention...like hey look at me."   (Israel said this tonight while walking on a local path...this is almost exactly the same tank top)

August 4 2011 - Sneak Attack

While sneaking up on River with a blanket, I asked what Israel was doing.  "I'm gonna jump River."  He threw the blanket on him and wrestled him to the ground!

Father's Day Funny

We all laid down to read another chapter in Israel's book, and I sat at the wrong end...his feet.   "Woah Israel, your feet smell HORRIBLE," I gasped as I held my breath.  "You think that's bad...you should taste them!"   Hmmmm

June 5 2011 - Monopoly

While playing Monopoly, I was in a rather obnoxious and funny mood.  At one point Israel looked at me, wearing a huge smile that reinforced how clever he was, and with a white one dollar bill and said, "I'll give you a dollar to shut up." 

June 5 2011 - Nightmare

"My worst nightmare would be that aliens invaded the world with butt faces."

June 5 2011 - Dictators

"If I were a dictator, I'd say...BE FREE!"

May 18 2011 - Too Sexy

After riding really fast on his bike, Israel stopped, turned back and looked at me and said in a really cool voice (and totally joking)..."Was that hot?  Was that sexy?  I'm too sexy for my bike!"  HAHA  I knew it was a bad idea to show him the "I'm too sexy for my shirt video."

May 6 2011 - Good Taste

"Hey Mom," I hear from the other room, "do you like my style?"  "Of course I do Israel," I respond back.  "Cool.  I think you have good taste!"

May 3 2011 - Safety Concerns

While at the doctors office today, I was asked all of the typical questions before the exam began....
 1. Are all of his immunizations up to date?
 2.  Is he at an increased risk for falls?
 3.  Does anyone in the home smoke?
 4,  Are there any concerns for his safety? all to which I answered 'no'. 
Israel quickly chimed in (with a raised hand at that), that he does have some 'discerns' about his safety...(referring to being a climber and gymnast).

April 29 2011 - Deep Thoughts on Windows

"Duh, why do they even make windows?  Like it would be hard to break in a house!"

April 24 2011 - Picking on River

Trying to make River laugh Israel said, "You're head looks like a coconut, and your neck is a sweat trap."

April 14 2011 - Jesus' Underwear

"I'll bet Jesus wore goat skin underwear!"

April 10 2011 - Mario Characters

With Mario on the brain Israel declared, "Mom, you're Princess Peach, Dad's Donkey Kong, I'm Luigi, and River's Yoshi cause he eats everything."

April 6 2011 - Minor Accomplishments

During a gardening meeting we had at church, Israel taps my shoulder, leans over and whispers, "Look Mom, I can fit Rivers whole ear in my mouth!"

April 6 2011 - A New Name

"River looks like a Doug."

April 5 2011 - Distractions

During the millionth time that Israel got distracted from his schoolwork to play with River today, I said, "I know it's fun to play with River, but you need to stay focused."  Israel's response, "It's not fun...it's my life!"

April 2 2011 - Thoughts on George Michael

After seeing a picture of the singer George Michael, Israel said, "Mom, I think this guy's into women!"

March 23 2011 - River's Big Head

"Mom, I know why River (his little brother) eats a lot...cause he has a big head and he's trying to balance it out with his tummy."

December 2010 - Impression of a Truck Driver

"Wanna hear my impression of a truck driver?...Wanna get some beer"  (in a deep raspy voice)

Sometime when he was 2 1/2

In response to me telling him to stop kicking me, "I'm not kicking you, I'm punching you with my feet."

Sometime when he was 1 1/2

"I hate poop.  It's rescusting.  I can't poop anymore, I don't have a belly button."