June 5 2011 - Dictator

"If I were a dictator, I'd say...BE FREE!"

July 29, 2013 - Definition of a Serial Killer

'So are serial killers just people who kill lots of people?'
Me: 'Pretty much.'
'So would that be their job...or their hobby?'

July 6, 2013 - Island

'Honestly, if I had my own island, I would run around naked!'

May 6, 2013 - Stupid Snails

'Gosh these are stupid snails!  They won't stick to my face!'

June 18, 2013 - Japanese

'I kinda wish I was Japanese.  Don't Japanese people just look cool?'

June 11, 2013 - Ninja Moves

'This is what I call The Reverse Kidnap!'

May 2 2013 - Time Travel

'I wish I could go back in time so I could play with myself.'

May 1 2013 - Gum Spitting

Mom : 'Israel, you spit your gum right where people walk!'
Israel : 'Well Mom, life's not all hugs and kisses.'

April 5 2013 - Self-Inflicted Wedgie

'Do you think I could rip my underwear by giving myself a wedgie?'

March 26 2013 - Dreams

'Sometimes I get kind of cocky when my dreams are cool.'

March 15 2013 - Timeline

'Mom....doing a timeline just makes no sense.  It makes my brain ache and makes me want to stab my eyes out.' 

February 9 2013 - Observations of a Uvula

It was bedtime and Israel was to go upstairs and brush his teeth and clean up for bed.  He came downstairs a little too soon so we asked if he was ready.
 'No, I got distracted.  I was looking at my uvula in the mirror cause I wanted to see what it looked like when I hiccuped.'

February 5 2013 - Rummy

'Dad, stop mooning me your cards!'  (while playing Rummy)

January 16 2013 - Pooping

'I wonder how many people are pooping RIGHT now.'

January 6 2012 - Modeling

'Mom......you should let River and I be models.................and maybe Ahmi too, we'll just have to see how he turns out.'