December 5 2012 - Homeless Saturday

'I wanna make homeless people pancakes.  I'm gonna be President someday and have Homeless Saturday.  And every store and restaurant have to make everything free for homeless people, and if they don't, I will put them in jail!'

December 5 2012 - Too Smart for His Britches

While reviewing the layers of the Earth Israel asks, 'If scientists can't dig farther than 7 miles into Earth, then how do they know there even is a mantle and a core?'
Great question, I reply.  We researched and found that scientists have used seismic waves to sense the mantle and core.  The wavelengths will change when the material it is passing through changes.  There is a change in material at the level they call the mantle, and the depth that they have labeled the core.
Israel looks off to the distance and states...'so basically there could be dinosaurs in the core, breathing fire?' 
Um....I suppose that could be a reason why the waves show a different reading.

December 3 2012 - Rock Candy

Israel watched a tutorial on how to make rock candy.  He informed me that the only ingredients you need are sugar....water...and 'abstract,' (extract). 

November 30 2012 - Shower Protest

'Israel, it's time for you to get a shower, don't you think?'  I asked as it was getting late in the morning.
'Do I have to get a shower?' Israel grumbled back.
'What do you think?'
'Errr, why is it that we're always talking about conserving things, but you won't let me NOT take a shower and conserve water?'
Very clever Israel.  Well played.

November 28 2012 - Cool Hair

While watching a karate movie Israel said, 'I don't understand why the bad guys always have awesome hair.'

November 27 2012 - Competition

I asked Israel what it was called when animals battled each other for resources. 
'Competition,' he answered.  'It's like what me and Ahmi and River do for your time.'

November 26 2012 - Traits

'Dad, I bet I wouldn't be as goofy if you weren't in my life.'
'Sure you would be, maybe a little differently....'
'And I probably wouldn't say pecker.'

November 26 2012

'Wouldn't it be cool if there were no people on the Earth but you for just one day?  I would go into all the stores and take as many Lego sets as I wanted.  Then I would go to the bank and take that, and some of that, and this.  I would stuff it into a garbage bag and then lay it on a homeless person.'
'I thought you were the only person on the Earth,'  I interjected.
'Oh yeah.'





'Hey Mom, you know how Egg Nog can dangle from things when you drink it?'  (Referring to the texture and thickness of it in your mouth.) 
'Um....yeah, I think.'
'Well, that's what just happened in Dad's beard when Ahmi threw up in it.  It even looked like he had a bald patch because of how thick it was.'





'Dad, you're like the only grown guy I know that will play with army men.' (As I hear machine gun sounds from Justin in the room where he and Israel are building with Lego's and playing with army men.)
'That's because I'm creative,' Dad joked.
'Yeah....said the guy who is only building a ladder (out of Lego's).

November 24 2012

'Mom, can I make smacking River an art?'

November 19 2012 - Adaptation

Israel and I were talking about adaptation and an organism's survival if it's environment changes.  He thought for a little while and then asked, 'Mom, can we adapt to breathing carbon dioxide instead of oxygen?  I've always wondered what would happen if all of the trees were gone.'

November 16 2012 - Philosophies on Puss

'Isn't it weird that puss looks gross, but in another dimension it could look cool to aliens?'

November 15 2012 - Goat's Milk

When I offered Israel some goat's milk, he looked absolutely disgusted and said, 'I'm not drinking goat's milk...have you seen their nipples?  They're all rusty.  I mean crusty.'

November 3 2012 - Freezing Time

'If I could freeze time, I would pants everyone and then unfreeze time.  People would look around and be like whaaaaaat?!'

October 31 2012 - Noggin

While reading a story for school, Israel came across this sentence....'They shared trenchers of succotash stew and passed around a noggin of cider.'
'Mom....what's a noggin?  Is it a deer head?  (insert horrified face here)

September 18 2012 - Ears

  Today Israel told me of a girl who said she wanted to cut her ears off because of her dog barking.  Israel explained why this thinking was illogical.  'She would still have holes...she would look like a turtle though.'  Then he pointed to the outside of his ear and said, 'these are just like satellite dishes.'

September 7 2012 - To Lick an Envelope

I had Israel lick the envelope for the grandparents day card that he made for his grandpa and grandma.  After he licked it he said 'Great.....I hope I don't have cockroach eggs on my tongue now.'

September 4 2012 - Compound Word

When asked what a compound word is, Israel thought it would be easier to give an example, than to explain it to me.  Without hesitation he exclaims, 'Buttcrack.'  hah

August 23 2012 - Stinkers

My two-month-old, Ahmi, was filling his diaper very noisily.  Israel was sitting beside him and yelled, 'Eeewwwww, Ahmi you have hit fart puberty!' 
'What's that?' I ask.
'It's when you're old enough that your farts smell bad' replied a very serious Israel.

April 19 2012 - Historical

'Mom....look at the face River is making.....it is HISTORICAL!'

March 8, 2012 - Getting the Facts Straight

We were discussing the concept of time in school today. I asked Israel...'Would it take minutes or hours to walk to the library?' His response...'That depends....is the library in OUR town, or in China?' HAHA! At least he really thinks things through!

February 8, 2012 - Unrealistic

I like how watching a talking monkey on TV doesn't strike up a problem for Israel...but when the snow reaches an unprecedented amount in an unreasonable time, Israel turns the show off with disgust spouting...'That is SO unrealistic!'

February 6, 2012 - Hoarders

As we were cleaning Israel's room today he became very overwhelmed and said to me, 'Mom, this is like hoarders!'
(and it really did seem that way...his room was THAT bad!)

February 4, 2012 - Uterus Songs

Israel walked around the house tonight singing..."u-u-u-uterus sandwich!"